quoted:

"You want some of this kid? You want it?"
-me. I'm a hit with the kids

feel this:

"...when everything inside me feels like everything I hate, you are the hope I have for change, you are the only chance I'll take..." Switchfoot

So, we have a gazelle in our basement.
No, I don't mean the animal, I mean the exercise apparatus designed by Tony Little, that fitness guru of the buff body and even buffer blond pony tail. My dad's been talking about the stupid thing for ages, and he finally bought it for himself as an early Christmas present. I'm afraid he's going to kill himself. Not because he's working out to hard or anything, but because he may actually get caught in some wires or something. That isn't to say that my dad's a total klutz or anything- in fact, for his stocky 5'9" frame he's rather graceful- but he keeps getting experimental. After 3 days of owning the thing, he's no longer content to simply do the gliding action. After reading the "Fitness Guide" that accompanied the gazelle, he's trying all kinds of tactics and maneuvers that will, I have no doubt, ultimately result in something breaking- either the wires holding it all together, or one of my dad's ankles. Either way, he'd be REALLY sad, because either way he couldn't use the gazelle. And if he broke his ankle he couldn't speed walk to work at 2AM like he is so fond of. Don't even get me started on the possibilities for death or injury that accompany that pastime. Use your imagination. I try not to.
Needless to say, my dad's efforts to get in shape will probably eventually kill him, just not in ways you'd expect. I guess I should be happy that he's finally taking an interest in his health...now if we could just get him to stop eating oreo cookies a plastic sleeve at a time, all would be pretty well.
I'm not gonna lie, I gave the gazelle a spin this evening, and frankly, I found it cause some uncomfortable knee joint friction. What's the point of low impact, Tony Little, if my knee joints slowly scrape each other away?
And I'm just realizing that everything I've written in this entry could be construed really inappropriately if one were to choose to think of the gazelle as the animal. But I made the disclaimer in the beginning, so if you're a perv, that's your problem.

yesterday // life goes on