Forget spring fever.
I think I'm too young to be a dried up old spinster, but that's how I feel sometimes. Maybe I should take up quilting. I look forward to going to school in the fall and being completely engrossed in my studies. Graduate school is, after all, where you continually have your ass kicked. And hell, getting my ass kicked is something to do, right?
I think I'm really going to miss human interaction though...probably even more than I do now.
Oh, and while we're on the ever-present-in-my-mind subject of grad school, I got a rejection letter from BU in the mail today. So I won't be moving to Boston. To be honest, I barely was phased cause I'd pretty much decided I couldn't afford to go there anyway. But now there's this nagging feeling in the back of my brain, wondering if the schools I got into are even decent and that BU is the only one that is legitimate, because it's the only one that wanted something better. Silly, huh? Or is it. I don't know. I try to remind myself that the BU audition was a month before my Denver audition, and a month and a half before North Texas, so it makes sense that I wasn't as strong as that audition. And then I nag myself some more, wondering if I would have done better if I'd been more prepared, known what to expect a little more. And then I try to rationalize that Boston wasn't meant to be. I've been praying so hard for almost two years (which I realize, isn't that much compared to how long people pray for some things...but this is big for me) that God would lead me to the right institution, where I'm SUPPOSED to be. Certain doors have opened, some have closed, and I'm trying to narrow it down. Sometimes I wonder if I'm SUPPOSED to be anywhere. I wish God would just send me an e-mail or something with His personal input.
Unfortunately, I doubt that's going to happen. Oh well. I'll end up somewhere. And then I can focus on becoming a kick ass singer and forge the path into crazy music lady spinsterhood. But maybe I'll try to dress better than your typical CML. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
quote: "I think it was in the guinness book of world records as...the most correct thing...ever."
yesterday // life goes on
