I have not felt so stressed out/stupid/depressed/anxious/angry at myself for procrastinating/unprepared/tired in a long long time. I had an emotional breakdown at the piano two days ago when I couldn't play ii6 V I progressions in different inversions and then found out I couldn't get my car into the repair shop i wanted. I laid my head down on the keys and started sobbing like a 3 year old, but I suppose some good came out of it and my dad offered to take it to another place for me. As that was just another thing that I did not want to add to my plate, on top of my very realistic worries that I will be the most stupid music grad student of all at UNT's College of Music and trying to remedy that in a couple weeks' time, figuring out what bare necessities I need that can fit in my little car, working, hanging out with everyone I've ever freaking met (and getting the guilt trip from the grandparents for not coming over more), working my last several days at the SPG, and all of the other stupid little incidental things that you have to deal with when you are leaving town for the next six months. Shit...I shouldn't even be online right now.
Last night Lisa had a small gathering of friends to say good-bye to me at her place. It started out a little slow and I was feeling like the world's biggest loser cause no one came, but people ended up showing up late and there were enough of us to eat about half of the huge-ass cake Lisa bought and play some very rousing games of catch phrase. There were a lot of very hilarious conversations about armadillos. I laughed a lot. It was nice.
But it put me behind on the studying, and I wasted a good two hours today going to the DMV to get my license renewed (and studying Music history in there is really hard...I tried though)so i must go and hit my outlines for another hour or so, before I have to ready myself for work. UUUUUGH. And I HAVE to get my daily allotment read because Julie is in town and we're going to go out tonight after I get off work. I've been sick with a sore throat for almost two weeks now and I haven't really been able to sing, which SUUUCKS cause i'm even more unprepared for school, but i don' really feel like drinking, cause in this stressed out state, i might just have a few too many and end up making out with some stranger in a bar. And that's just really not the way I should handle stress, although it does sound rather appealing.
On the plus side of everything, the reason my cars alignment was so bad and it was sounding like aircraft taking off was because of the tires. I got new tires, and now I no longer have to worry about staying on the road or my car exploding, unless of course I run into an armadillo.
I am a freaking incoherent idiot. I brought this on myself.
yesterday // life goes on
